Thoughts on love

I apologize for the radio silence this last month. I started teaching a new class which I've redesigned and it is taking quite a bit of my time. The other part of my time is being spent on things that are just due to the normal cycle of a college school year. Lots of new people applying and needing information from me right now. And we've got a new general education package. And the new gen. ed. package is not yet included... oh... anywhere. It would be stressful as a new student to not have that information. I'm doing the best song and dance that I can to make the students feel better without having all the information that they should have. The new semester starts this month. Why is this still an issue? I have no idea. Oh, also, I may have to teach a class I strongly dislike teaching because the school had put new adjunct teaching limits into place so that they don't have to provide benefits for them. So they get shafted because their income is cut and we get shafted because then we, as full-time folks, get to teach the classes that they were teaching before. I'm already scheduled to teach another class that term. So, yes double the teaching excitement!

In addition to that work craziness, friends have been in and out of town, a bridal shower and wedding were held, cat-sitting was being done, people were moving (not me!) and so it has been a great, big, exhausting party at times.

In the midst of all of this, I keep thinking I want to share this with you. I didn't make it, my friend Melanie did. I posted this picture ages ago on FB but wanted to share some about the process of picking this out and what it means. Melanie makes beautiful things and half of them she gives away; I am a proud owner of several of her creations, including a few of these bracelets. This time I picked out love as a reminder that I get to have love too.

I don't know if it's been the season of engagements and significant others showing up in the lives of several good friends or these crazy conversations that I've been sitting in on (one night I almost got up and left I was so overcome with the obsessiveness that seemed to be oozing from the women I was with at the time) but I've not been super keen on the idea of relationships lately. Let me refine that furhter; I don't want to be stuck in a place where I feel like I'm waiting for someone to sweep me off my feet and then my life can really start. It's not like I haven't had a life up until now. Sometimes I feel as though that is how people are acting. I am allowed to be a whole person, with goals and dreams that exist outside of life with another person by my side, contrary to what society may say. My relationship status doesn't determine my worth.

But, there's the need to be open to relationship, whether it is romantic or otherwise. It is good to have love in one's life, both given and received. Despite my battle to not allow myself to be defined by relationship, I need to allow the possibility of love. So, this is my reminder to myself:


Melanie-Pearl said...

Yes you do!

Kim from Kansas said...

Cheering you on! Go Hannah!!!!