Sucks big hairy donkey balls

My brother and his wife won't be joining us for Christmas this year. I was very sad when my brother told me his wife wanted to spend Christmas with her family. I understand that. Kind of. He was still considering what he would do. I was hopeful that I might get to see him even if she didn't come. But then he called and said he wouldn't be coming at all. And I was very, very sad. See, my parents just visited them. Everyone has seen everyone else fairly recently. Except me. I haven't seen them since last Christmas. And it doesn't sound like I'll get to see them until maybe next July or August. Eighteen or Nineteen months sounds like an exceptionally long time to not see my brother. I mean, he didn't exist on this earth for longer than that without a sister. If I had known this was going to happen I would have thought harder about going out there for Thanksgiving or a bit of vacation. But I didn't know until Monday and now tickets are about five-hundred dollars and that's just not in the budget.

I was also pretty angry. But I'm working on that. I didn't think about it for four or five hours yesterday afternoon. I thought that was pretty good after spending an evening crying about it the day before. When you wake up with painful shoulders just because of the emotions you're carrying around that's a good sign you need to let some of it go. So that's what I'm trying to do. But also acknowledging that it just sucks all around.