Abuelita

Last night I was talking to the Brother and he mentioned that our Abuelita was not doing well. In fact, Hospice is taking care of her now. I'm not sure why my parents could not bother to tell me this themselves. My Mom called today to find out my fax number so that Dad could fax my holiday travel itinerary to me at work. Yes, they have email - apparently that proves to be a little too difficult. But she wouldn't have told me anything unless I asked her. What the hell is that all about? She tells my brother, who screens her calls, and not me, the one who calls her parents on a weekly basis.

Abuelita has Alzheimer's and has not been coherent for the past few years. She cannot walk or feed herself. She does not have control over her bodily functions anymore.

She was not always this way. Abuelita was a pastor's wife and a nurse for many years. She met Abuelito at the then Hispanic Baptist Seminary now located in San Antonio. Before Abuelito died in 1996 I had him do some work on a memories book. One question was about who was the first person he kissed. It was Abuelita. He says she chased the other women away. I can see her doing that - she was fierce in her time.

She went with her husband to Mexico and came back to the US. They started and pastored several small congregations in both countries. Along the way she went to school for nursing to help pay the bills. She started a breakfast program for low-income kids in the city where the family settled down, saw all three of her children graduate from college, some a few times and all of her grandchildren do the same. She served as surrogate mother to people in her church, giving out of what she had.

If is painful to think that Abuelita is just a shell of who she was. It hurts to visit her in her unaware state. It is sad to think that she will be gone. But I can only pray that the end will come swiftly. It has been too long, this state of unknowing.

Survival and self-preservation

I survived the weekend. Which, to me, seems like a big deal. So now I'm back at work recovering.

I managed to buy some gifts for the fam. And nifty little ornaments for the folks at work. It's my thing I do every year for the people I like and those that I don't like most of the time. How twisted is that? Again, it's about survival. I also did Christmas cards to people at The Job, the people that I do like or the peope that I work with or the people that I have to ask for things throughout the year. I believe someone called it "greasing the wheels" last week.

However, there are only a few more days left before the holiday break. I will make it until then. Thankfully, the office closes between Christmas and New Years. Ah, peaceful serenity.

Oh, wait. Not so much. Four plane rides and a day of driving all between the 24th and whenever it is that I come back to Chicago. Maybe I'll take the train to the airport - then I can have planes, trains, and automobiles in my holiday travel.

But this year I made a critical decision. I will not fly straight away to Tejas. I will come back a few days before work starts. I will take time to relax.

Rush Rush

I finished my final last night at 10:30. I'm so glad that this class is over. While it was quite good and made me think most every night about the things that I don't know about God - which are myriad - it also served as my conscience during the semester. If I considered doing something fun there was usually a paper to write or reading to do and the nagging voice saying "I don't have time for fun" which can be really a horrible thought. I mean, and here's the hedonist in me, what's the point of life if you can't have fun? I'm glad I don't pay close attention to those nagging thoughts until they are no longer nagging but full-out Janis Joplin hollering at me. I would miss much more fun if I did.

But, as I had a paper/presentation and a take-hime final due this week, I've put a lot of things on hold, including the fun.

People, I've done nothing for the holidays! NOTHING! And I'm starting to panic a little.

OK. I did get one gift for a friend that was pure inspiration - because let's face it, despite spending time with these friends of mine on a regular basis, I don't know what to get them. And don't even mention my family, my flesh and blood, whom I have know for 29 years. Not a clue. Or, if I have a clue, I want to buy them something far more expensive than I can afford this year. At least I know what I want to get my brother's significant other, who I will not see this year because she comes the afternoon of the day I leave to come home. But, Dad, Mom, Dan, no idea really.

And did I mention that I have a party tonight and a party tomorrow night and Fusion to lead tomorrow morning and jewelry making with Jenny in the afternoon and Sunday after church is Yellow Bags and then to chilli lunch because Grant is in town and wants to see everyone and to say goodbye to Bethany before she heads off to the wilds of Wisconsin chasing love and nature and the T's will be at the chilli lunch and we want to get all of the kids (5 of them!) gifts so at some point I need to shop for those. And did I mention I'm out of deoderant and cotton swabs and cat litter and nearly out of toilet paper and need more stamps and Christmas cards?

God was good to institute the Sabbath because God knew we would get out of control crazy.

Rest. Peace. Hope.